


even if it's for just a little while longer

by heartSelect



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drama, F/M, Feels, Gender-neutral Reader, I'll add more tags as i go through the story, Kidnapping, M/M, Movie Spoilers, Post-Fire, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, callaghan!reader, i like writing angst ok, it starts bad but i swear, it'll end good, like omg so much drama, might change the title, probably long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:17:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9695360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartSelect/pseuds/heartSelect
Summary: Maybe fate has a knack for making you miserable.You don't know what you did to deserve all the things that has happened.It wasn't your fault... right?but there was one thing you do know.that you're willing to stayeven it's for just a little while longer.





	1. Technically Dead

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this story since September of 2015 because i didn't want to post more fanfics that i know I can't finish in a few chapters but after some time talking to my friends and reading long fics, I finally got around to posting it and just settle at the fact that if this becomes long then let it be long.
> 
> I made this story (other than the fact that i love Tadashi) because I noticed there's this running theme in a lot of Tadashi/Reader fics is that the Reader is already friends with Tadashi prior to the movie timeline and the Reader saves(or not) Tadashi but I wanted to try something different. Where Tadashi only meets the Reader after the fire but still placed within the timeline of the movie where shit gets down. 
> 
> So I hope you like this and feedback is greatly appreciated!

You were worried. Pacing back and forth in the living room of your own home. Your small wheelie-bin looking, first aid kit robot, Boddy, looking unsure of what you were doing and how the little guy should react. Your dad, the one and only Robert Callaghan, had just messaged you upon your relief that he was coming home after you heard about the fire on the news. You should be happy, really, that he was okay but for some reason, you felt this dread in the pit of your stomach and you couldn't pinpoint what it was. Robert Callaghan just hasn't been the same since Abigail.

You heard a click by the back door and you quickly went there knowing who it was. Upon entering the kitchen, you were surprised to see your dad carrying someone on his shoulders. Burnt marks littered both their skins but the man he was holding seemed to have more of it and most likely worse.You went ahead and carried the man−who you guessed was roughly your age−from your father as he headed to the living room, Boddy giving him a few essentials to treat himself a bit before coming to you to help the poor boy. You carried the man to a bed, started doing some basic treatment, just enough that you were sure you could leave him for a bit so you can take care of your father. You had to remove the guy's clothes to do proper treatment and he had some cuts that you fixed up. Once you were sure you had done enough for a while, you went out to help your father.

Your Dad looked tired but something else was there in his eyes, in the way he stared off into nothing that made you scared. Anger, rage and determination were all there but one thing that stood out most... Grief. You looked away, continuing your treatment. It was probably Abigail again...

Once you were all done with him, you stood up to continue fixing up the man in the guest room but before you could exit the living room, Robert called out "(Name), do not let that boy out of this house. Got it? Do not give him contact with others either." He ordered, before slamming the door, going out of the house.

You felt your throat tighten and just looked down at your own hands...

"Damn it." you swore, looking up to the front door before sighing and heading inside the guest room.

===

A few days had passed and the guy your father brought home was properly healing thanks to the late nights you spent learning medicines and treatments to make Boddy. You still didn't know what the guy's name was since he was drifting in and out of consciousness most of the time and you usually left him alone to his own devices and by devices, I mean, just the remote for the television in the room which he never really opened... Though, one of the books on the shelf over the bed would go missing so you guessed he would take one. You only went into his room to leave his meal or wake him up to let him clean himself and change his bandages. He seemed rather confused about the whole situation but cautious and slightly scared nonetheless.

Dad went home the next morning of him coming home from the fire, bringing home some things. He seemed to have been preparing for something but he won't say what it was and you didn't really bother to ask. He seemed tired but the same aura was still present from the night before. Right before he left, he gave you long chain handcuffs. He said it was for the boy, to keep him locked in.

By that point, you were worried and scared. Why was it so important that the guy was needed to be locked in? What was your dad planning? Who was the boy?

You didn't disobey though. You cuffed the male's non-burnt hand to the bed. Darn you and your family issues! Why couldn't he just notice you and move on from Abigail, it's been 2 years for god's sake!

You let out an involuntary growl out of sheer frustration while giving an apologetic look at the still unconscious boy. You felt bad for him. What about his family? What would they think? That he's dead? What if he actually has a family that cares for him, a place to go back home to; where they actually acknowledge you?

"Damn it, brain, stop... _stop_... You're used to this aren't you?" you mumbled as you hit your own forehead. You sighed, your arms dropping to your side, your shoulders drooping. ' _You're talking to yourself again, (Name).'_

"Honestly, why do I even care, much less try?..."

===

It was a week after the fire when you were called upon the news. Apparently, not many knew that the one and only Professor Robert Callaghan has a second child, all they knew was his daughter and her tragedy of a fate; that was why you were informed late.

"Are you... (Name) Callaghan?" a professor from SFIT said. She was one of the elder professors from the institute. She was like a mentor to Abigail when she had just enrolled, that was probably why she knew you. You nodded. "Well... I'm sorry to tell you this, dear but... I'm not sure if you've heard the news but your father, Professor Callaghan has passed away from the fire."

Your eyes widened, shocked. Dead? What did they mean dead? He came back the same night when the fire happened. A bit burned, yeah but you were pretty sure he was living and breathing... But then... doesn't that mean that boy is declared dead too?

"We're sorry we couldn't tell you sooner. Not many knew that Professor has another kid. I know you may feel shocked or sad—" you slammed the door shut. All the shock from before draining, getting replaced with disbelief and rage. What in the world is your father planning? Why is he hiding?... Oh good lord, what if  _he started the **fire**?_

You gasp, snapping out of your thoughts, remembering that you had just slammed the door in front of a nice old lady's face. You immediately opened the door, giving an apologetic look at the old professor. "I-I'm sorry about that... I was just... a bit shocked," you apologized, looking down, your voice soft.

"Oh dear, no, it's fine," she smiled sadly at you. "The memorial's tomorrow...You don't have to come if you don't want to but I really do hope you attend... If you ever feel sad or lonely, you know we're all here for you." The lady sighed, taking your hands and giving you a sympathetic look. "It's been a sad few years for you hasn't it?

"I hope you won't let yourself be swallowed by all the sadness, okay dear? I promise it will get better."

You had to admit, her words almost made you cry.

So you went to the funeral and left without a single tear shed.


	2. Some Answers

You slowly crept into the guest room. You had decided that enough was enough and you were done being clueless. You wanted to talk to the guy. It might not be your best idea considering he's the victim here but he was your best bet to understand what was happening.

The guest room was fairly big even though it was the smallest bedroom around the house. Robert's achievements paid him well so you lived a pretty stable life but you really didn't call yourselves rich. The guest room almost had a hotel look to it. A full size bed by the wall, a bookshelf overhead, a bed side table on the side with a lamp and a TV in front. It also had its own bathroom. The guy was awake reading. He's almost completely healed, probably another week before he's okay. He was lucky he only got 2nd degree burns, still pretty deep and took up a big chunk of his back and side, might leave a bit of scarring but it should heal fine overall.

Boddy followed behind as you went in and placed the guy's dinner down. You noticed he was looking at Boddy, he seemed curious about him since he was always looking at the bot. Or maybe he couldn't really look at you and all that's left to look at is your creation. You stared at the man. He had the same distant look as your father as if contemplating something but you knew he was tensed with the fact that you stayed.

"I need to know who you are," you said breaking the silence. He didn't flinch, he didn't look over, all he did was stare at your first aid robot. You did decide that you were going to get some info out of him but now that you think about it, you didn't really think this through. "Who are you?" you said softly, pleading almost. You just have to know.

He didn't respond. It was probably the right action considering you're the guy he knew that took him. You were the person that he always sees and with confused expression he showed the first few days, you were sure he probably doesn't even remember how he got here. But you still hoped he knew something. Anything. You were desperate.

You sighed, sitting down on the floor and leaning your back to the bed,  drawing your knees closer. You stayed there for moments, not really sure how to tackle the situation. It's been really long since you talked to someone other than family. "... My name is (Name), by the way... (Name) Callaghan," you suddenly said and to your surprise, he replied.

"... My name is Tadashi... Tadashi Hamada."

===

Tadashi wasn't exactly sure what to make of the situation. It's almost been a week since you both started talking. He must admit, it wasn't as bad as last week. It was certainly better than sitting around, doing nothing on that stupid bed the whole day.

Tadashi was reluctant to tell you anything the first few days. He just wasn't sure if he could trust you (he was being kidnapped after all) but he opened up when he found out you too had gotten dragged into this mess . He probably shouldn't believe anyone after getting kidnapped and cuffed to a bed but honestly, he couldn't stand the quiet anymore himself. He started talking maybe to turn you or do anything that can jump start his way to freedom but the idea got pushed back the more you both talked. He admitted to you that he doesn't remember much, especially recent ones. You had told him about the events at the expo, at least of what you heard on the news but his memory of it seemed to have been thrown out. All he remembered was helping his brother with his presentation for the expo. That was it, that was as far as his memory went.

Some of his past memories seemed to have gone fuzzy for him but they didn't seemed to have been affected. He still remembered his friends, his family and all the fun times they've had. Convincing Hiro to join 'Nerd School' and all that. And, talking to you seemed to have helped make the memories more clearer. Like therapy almost.

Though, he did see that look in your eyes whenever he told you stories about home. It was like telling a child fairy tales. So consumed in the story, imagining yourself into the tale's world. Probably hoping for the characters to visit you one day and take you away to an adventure. It was when he noticed that look on your face when he asked about your family and your past. As expected, Professor Callaghan was mostly a good father to you but you said he seemed distant. You mentioned your sister a lot. Stories filled with both of your antics and weirdness. It reminded Tadashi of his relationship with Hiro. You seemed so happy telling him all your moments with your family. You were like a whole different person from before you both began talking. You seemed so lifeless, doing the same routine everyday but seeing your face light up as you both talk, sitting on each ends of the bed, the dull room fills with life.

The way you stuttered as you excitedly told your shenanigans, the way your hands seemed to act out everything you say, the way your laugh would make him laugh too, blurting out snarky remarks here and there, asking curious or odd questions or sometimes, just sitting in that room in silence, both of you doing your own thing. It was the most normal thing that has happened to him from the last few weeks. It made him grounded at least.

There were days where you can't talk to him. It was when Professor Callaghan came back. You both knew he was up to something but you didn't have a clue on what he was planning. You did mention about the idea of him maybe starting the fire since both him and Tadashi are declared dead yet the Professor still continued hiding. This was the time where Tadashi had asked where Abigail was, considering how many times you told stories about him yet the girl never appeared. You told him that there was an accident and that since then, your father began to become more distant than ever. Tadashi knew this wasn't the whole story but he didn't push it and you both continued to your daily chit chats. 

===

The light from the sky was slowly fading away as the night drew in to a close. It was getting dark and the only light illuminating the room was whatever was left outside that slid through the blinds. You hugged your knees closer as the room grew quiet after minutes and hours of talking.

"I don't know," Tadashi laughed softly, "Hiro has always been a weird kid. A braniac but also a really big idiot."

"Seems like it," You smiled. You glanced at Tadashi, sitting at the head of the bed, legs crossed, light illuminating his side. He was glowing. And you hated it.

The chain on cuffs shined. It was long enough for it to reach the bathroom so he can do his business but not enough to do much else. There wasn't anything in the room either to pick it open. You stared at his wrist. He used to struggle with it. Pull at it. Try and take it off. It used to leave bruises and red marks so you made him wear a wristband to protect his wrists. You didn't want to hurt him.

"Hello~? Earth to (Name)?" He waved in front of your face with a soft smile, snapping you out of your thoughts. You couldn't help but smile back warmly. You pushed his faced away laughing. Your talks have always been lively in a way. It was filled with laughers and stories but yet all said in soft voices and whispers. Like a secret.

"Hey, Tadashi." He hummed in response. "Do you miss them?"

He looked at you with slight surprise before sadness taking over his features. "Of course I do," Tadashi started. "They're family."

Family. It's been years. You wondered how that would feel like.

"Would you like to see them again?" You asked quietly, your smile fading away just like the last light from the setting sun faded and the room darkened. You know the answer but... you didn't want to hear it. Tadashi was light. Just like the light that came from the outside before fading away. He was warm. He was bright. He was everything you wished you didn't lose.

Tadashi didn't respond, only staring at you.

Then you heard the bell ring and someone call outside. Must have been the pizza man.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to not make it like what was happening is stockholm syndrome because that would make the characters feelings less real for me and i wanted both Tadashi and Reader to have a common sense of... empathy for each other's sides since both are in a situation where they are figuratively and literally trapped and stuck.  
> I'm n ot exactly sure how this will turn out but what i do know is that i really want to try make this story work out so tell me what you think.  
> Suggestions and Feedback are gladly appreciated!


	3. Broken Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning: Swearing** (There's like one)

Tadashi groaned to the person shaking him awake. At first he thought it was Hiro. Tadashi remembered how his little brother used to do it a lot when Hiro went to high school. Hiro would always make a lot of ruckus just to wake him up so Tadashi can help him get ready and see him off to his room. The thought of his little brother made his heart warm. He used to love learning before he got into the whole robot fights. Tadashi wondered how his little brother is. How his friends were doing. How about Aunt Cas?

"Tadashi..." he heard. It was muffled, like underwater. It wasn't registering properly in his head. "Tadashi..."

Tadashi groaned again. pushing away whoever was trying to wake him up. It was quiet for a bit before he heard the voice again.

"Tadashi Hamada." It was stern this time but still a whisper. He recognized it. "Wake up!"

Tadashi jolted awake, a hand slamming against his mouth before any noise came out. He held the back of his neck in surprise from the ice you had placed seconds ago. You shushed him.

It was still dark. Tadashi couldn't see but he knew you were there. You felt so close. The bed sunk in front of him and you slowly let go of his face. His eyes slowly adjusted in the dark as moonlight slipped into the slits of the blinds by the window. You had a solemn look on your face. He saw you take something metal glinting behind you by the bedside table. Tadashi instinctively panicked and pressed his back by the wall. God, if you were planning to kill him then you should've at least let him die in his sleep!

"Hey. Shh." you said quietly and carefully before reaching out to his side and taking his hand. "I'm gonna help you. I know you miss them and this isn't right." Tadashi stared at you in disbelief as you took hold of his chained wrist and unlocked the cuffs. "Keeping you in here isn't right. I shouldn't have allowed him to make me keep you here." You look at him with guilt. Your eyes shone with remorse. Of course, he didn't see that. All Tadashi saw at that moment was the silhouette of your shadow moving around, taking out some clothes for him and urging him to go change. He didn't see your puffy eyes. He didn't notice your trembling hands.

But he knew. He heard your shouts just hours before. You had an argument with the professor. You don't know but Tadashi reached the door and opened it and eavesdropped. He had used one of the band aids for his already healing scars that he had asked from Boddy and stuck it by the side of the door so it won't lock.  He could reach the door enough to reach the knob and open it slightly. He didn't hear the whole thing but it was enough to understand why you made such a haste decision to let him go now.

"Dad, listen to me!" your voice suddenly said with rising volume. "I understand why you would be so distant with me but _Abigail is dead,_ ok!? Dad, is that what you want me to say? That she's gone?" Tadashi had always thought the Callaghan family would be perfect but after your talks and this, his mind changed. Families aren't perfect. Each one is just as broken as the others. Some maybe less than most but broken nonetheless in a way.

"She's been gone for 2 years. She's with Mom, why can't you accept that? Why can't you just _accept_ me?!" Your voice broke. "Dad _... I'm here still. Why can't you see that_?" What Tadashi heard next gave him goose bumps and a million questions.

"Because you aren't my child." Robert Callaghan said with distaste. Tadashi heard a thump and Boddy beep in Morse. F-A-L-L-E-N.

The little guy beeped a few more but he couldn't focus on it. "What about Tadashi?" It was quiet. Tadashi barely even heard it.

There was a pause. "I'll deal with him myself after." And then a slam of the door then all he heard left was your hard breathing, trying to keep it all in.

Tadashi changed, his mind still half asleep and processing. He didn't struggle, made noise or ran as fast as he could go after weeks of being trapped inside a house he was a stranger to. He just followed your careful and cautious voice and hushed whispers in the dark, and only one thing ran through his mind as he went out the door as quietly as possible with a wad of cash you had given him so he can go back home.

He was free.

But what about you?

===

You watched Tadashi go in the dark that night. You had to let him go. He didn't belong here and you sure aren't gonna let your father make it worse. You had argued the night before. It was after you had given Tadashi his share of food that he had come home. You didn't want to talk to him at all, not after hiding and lying and just avoiding you.

Luckily for you, Robert just did his business silently. He seemed more distant now than just a few weeks ago. More deep in thought.

You placed dinner in front of him, noting his dishevelled state before sitting down yourself to eat dinner... Though, you were more preoccupied on debugging Boddy. The little guy has been getting a bit more bugs lately, releasing the wrong item or maybe assessing the damage wrong. You were okay with the work, it kept you preoccupied and you aren't really surprised about him bugging out considering you didn't exactly finish school and all the information you inputted on him was solely taken from books and the internet. You were pretty proud of the little bot. It's like the closest thing to a family you had by that point. It was a ridiculous thought but it was true.

Your own creation was your family but it was dying too. Your knowledge isn't enough to fix it if you can't repair it soon. You know it. It was going to break. And you were going to lose it.

"(Name), I need you to go pack." Dad had suddenly said, standing up after finishing his meal and taking you out of your frustrated thoughts. He always called you by name. No nicknames like honey or champ unlike Abbie with her princess or bugs. Mom used to call you different nicknames like that but all that's just a distant memory now. "We're leaving in a week or two. Take only the things you need; All the IDs, documents, photos and albums−"

"Dad, what are you planning?" you blurted out, cutting him off. It surprise you too but it seemed like all the weeks and years worth of anger and loath just burst out of you. "You haven't been talking. You've been gone out in days time. Dad−"

"(Name), it's none of your business and you don't have to worry about it. Just −"

" _None of my business?_ " you spat bitterly. " _Nothing to worry−_ Dad, what _the fuck_ are you talking about? I'm your last family and it's _none of my business_? That I shouldn't be worried that you came home from a burning building? That I shouldn't be worried about you going home always looking older and older each time you come back? That this is none of my business?" you rambled in anger, standing up and gesturing to everything. "That boy? the fire? whatever it is you're hiding? Dad, this is my business, too. You've neglected me for years but I'm still your family so _just this once_ , **_tell me_** _._ Tell me, what are you planning!?"

"I'm going to bring Abigail back."

And with that, you felt your own heart broke. He's still not over her. Of course, why wouldn't he? Abigail Callaghan was the brightest thing to have ever been in this home. Abbie was sweet, smart, _genuine_. She was... your sister. You want her back, too but she went through that hole and she never came out and you cried. _You wanted her back, too_. After losing Mom, she was always the one who came to comfort you, be the mom that you were going to miss, hold the family together.

"Dad, listen to me!" you started, your voice rising. "I understand why you would be so distant with me but _Abigail is dead,_ ok!?" You didn't want to say it. It always hurts and makes your throat tighten and your chest hurt.

 _'Mom is just taking a break after all the fighting'_ was what Abbie used to say after Mom had died to make you feel better. You were thirteen already, of course you knew what death was but loosing someone you love was a whole another devastating case. And it hurt. It would always hurt. You would tell it to yourself repeatedly when you were sixteen when it happened. When you saw her off to that cool looking spaceship-capsule thing and go through a portal only to never come out. That she was just having a break and gassing up. That she would come back too, one day. But you knew that isn't true. That isn't how death works.

"Dad, is that what you want me to say? That she's gone? She's been gone for 2 years. She's with Mom, why can't you accept that? Why can't you just _accept_ me?!" You shouted at him in rage, in anger and in desperation. Desperation for your own father's attention. Desperation for him to snap out of his grieving (two years is enough). Desperation for things to get better. "Dad _... I'm here still. Why can't you see that_?"

He gave you a cold look. You know that look. Familiar with it even. You used to fight and bicker a lot and he would always give you that cold look. But today it isn't just some cold glare that you can stare right back. His eyes were cold yet burned with so much fire and rage.

"Because you aren't my child."

You would've laughed, not sure because of a memory or just pure insanity. A low blow. He promised he wouldn't mention it. He promised Mom before she died. He promised Abbie when we had our first fight after Mom. You promised too to never say it back. That no matter what, family is still family.

You gave a shaky breath before falling to your knees. But it still hurt hearing it. Knowing in your own head and heart that it was true.

Fists clenched and on the verge of tears, you still managed to whisper out, "What about Tadashi?" If you were going to move away, then what would happen to Tadashi? You didn't want anything to happen to him. You didn't want anything more horrible to come to him. He was pure. There was still so much hope for him. Outside. Back to where his home is. Not here. Not locked up just because he was a witness to something he doesn't remember. He doesn't deserve any of this.

"...I'll deal with him myself after" Robert said coldly. He walked off to his office and slamming the door shut.

Boddy whirled closer to you, beeping wildly before spitting out a bandage, a tissue and paper. You looked up from the floor to its screen.

_'it's going to be okay  ?'_

You tried to hold it in but before you could stop, sobs were already bursting out of your mouth and tears streaming from your eyes. Boddy was glitching out. That's why it had a question mark but it hurt. It's the same question that would always run through your mind in times of absolute desperation. It used to be good. It used to be that things will turn out just fine. But you aren't sure if that's the case now. It hasn't been okay for years and you aren't sure if it will ever be. You have to get Tadashi out tonight. Before whatever it is that Dad is planning for him.

Then you heard sizzle then a pop from your bot.

Boddy is dead. And the man you call your Father broke his promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually teared up while writing this and it's certainly one of my favorite chapters to write since there are a few lines here and there that I really loved. Things do get a bit serious (and sad) further on so expect that. I might try uploading weekly so I can have a deadline for myself rather than putting it off like my other fanfictions :P
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of making illustrations maybe for the chapters like maybe a drawing of Boddy and such so feel free to tell me what you think. Feedback is greatly appreciated!


	4. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: some suicidal thoughts**

Tadashi watched from afar as his friends and brother talked together. He was hiding just far enough that he was sure no one could see him but close enough to faintly hear them... Well mostly Fred since his voice is a bit loud but their laughter still rang loudly in his ear, sending him a wave of nostalgia.

They looked so normal now. As if he was never gone. As if he was never really even there to start with.

' _I can't go in now. Not when they've moved on,'_ Tadashi thought sadly. ' _It'll just break them if I just idly go in there. They might hate me or worse, they might just not believe I'm Tadashi and just some ass who's pranking them! I could get arrested for just showing myself to them,_ ' Tadashi gave an exasperated sigh, face palming. ' _Oh what am I gonna do now? If only I didn't try to be such a nice guy and just ran away from the fire like an average person, I wouldn't even be in this mess!_ '

You've freed him for about three days now and he's been out and wandering. Usually just visiting the cafe or hanging out in the alleyways close to his home to keep watch.

But he never really went in and _came home_.

Yeah, he went to the café twice and Aunt Cass didn't even notice it was him. The employees seemed to not care either. It must've been the hat, and the change of wardrobe... And the scar. He must've looked intimidating now that he thought about it. A man with a faint burn scar on his neck, along the linings of his jaw, going up just below his ear, wearing dark clothes, always looking down, one hand on his pockets. Yeah, he must've been unquestionably intimidating and probably suspicious, too.

Tadashi took his hat off, running a hand through his hair. It was getting pretty long, maybe he should get it cut. His stomach growled and the money you left for him was almost gone. What was he to do now? He had to make a choice.

Go home or... What? Return to you like a homeless guy looking for your sympathy?

He still remembers the argument you had with your dad. How Professor Callaghan was still grieving about his daughter and his child left to pick up whatever was left behind. How you may not be who he thinks you are.

_'because you aren't my child'_

When Tadashi heard it, he felt chills and goose bumps. It was just so... _cold_. It was painful. Tadashi could never imagine Aunt Cas telling that to them. He knew it would hurt. He knew you must have been hurt; hell, heartbroken by it. Just the thought of having your last family tell you that _you aren't family._ Knowing your story, it must have been devastating for you. Having the people you see as family see go one by one. It hurt. Tadashi and Hiro lost their parents at a young age and all at once. It was devastating but they were children. They didn't know much. They didn't hold on. They got to easily move on. But you? To see and witness each one go and leave one by one and never come back. It made his own heart hurt.

Then Tadashi thought of Hiro. How he saw Tadashi go into a burning building and for him to never come out. To see his only brother leave so suddenly. And to try and move on knowing he was dead and couldn't be brought back. It just hurts.

He contemplated his choices. He really wanted to go home but his gut was telling him not to. Not yet, at least. He looked up to the sky from the alleyway he was standing in at the moment. ' _Good lord, why is my life so complicated?_ '

And with that, Tadashi started walking away. If he can't return yet, then he just has to wait. For now, he can either go back to you or find another place to stay; sitting in alleyways to sleep wasn't exactly comfortable and  as much as he hated being cuffed to that bed, it was at least comfy unlike the cold pavement and he's hoping you're going to let him in.

You were good, he knew that after the first few days of you asking him who he was. You were really smart, too. Boddy was a proof of that. That little wheelie bin, first aid kit sure worked fast and well, slightly buggy but nothing a little work can't fix. It could be a great companion for Baymax. Maybe he could program Baymax to read Morse code and other languages too. Maybe even try and accommodate better to handicap people. You seem to know a lot more than you seem for someone who never goes out.

Tadashi chuckled a bit, listing all the things he knew about you in his mind. Maybe he could handle this mess even it's for just a little while longer.   


===

You weren't sure what had happened. You really weren't. You were doing so well so what happened? You were breathing hard, your eyes leaking like a cracked dam and leaning on the kitchen counter. You were crying silently in the silence of your own home, as if afraid that someone might hear you when you were sure no one else was there. Not a single one.

On one hand was a blade. It wasn't just any blade though. It was given to you by Robert when you were twelve as a present. You were finally learning how to make and build things and it was one of your first tools. A stupid blade. But you used it on everything either way. You loved that stupid blade. It's practically the last good memory you have before everything just came crashing down. And maybe... it will be your last memory.  You knew this was coming. You've known it for so long. You've thought of doing this for more times than you can count. Only with happy moments stopping you.

On top of the counter was a bottle of medicine. It's for you. It's always been for you. Since Mom died. Since Abigail. Since everything. You had enough of the lies and the deaths and everything going to hell. You don't want it anymore. You don't want to witness the guy you recognize as your father to leave or go mad with grief. You don't want to feel everything in your life leaving you. You don't want to feel the guilt of keeping someone away from happiness. You don't want it anymore.

_You have had enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is rather short but I hoped you like it. This is actually the chapter where i took the title from since I’m horrible at titles. Feel free to tell me if anything is amiss and please leave a kudos or a comment if you liked this! It really boosts my self-esteem since writing isn’t as easy as drawing for me but I’ll be trying my best to atleast upload once a week, preferably around Thursday or Friday. Long chapter for next week though so look forward to that!


	5. Scrap Metal Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: Attempt suicide. Swearing**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, if you’re easily triggered by topics like suicide, feel free to skip this chapter or skip ahead to the second part

Tadashi slowly walked back to your home. The sun had already and set and people in the neighborhood were getting ready for the night. He passed by a house and he slowed down seeing a family eat together. A wave of melancholy and nostalgia passed through him as he remembered his parents. He still clearly remembers the time before the accident because he didn't want to forget.

Little two year old Hiro so hyper and Tadashi playing with him with the fan. They were trying to open it up just like what his father did only to be called for dinner and get scolded. Looking back on it, it was kind of reckless since the fan was still plugged in. It was off but that’s still pretty dangerous for a bunch of kids who don’t know any better. He remembers their mom sighing at them before smiling and taking them to the dining room and there sat his favourite meal with his father smiling.

They all ate happily, without a care in the world, not knowing the tragedy that was to come to them.

He looked away from the window and continued walking. If there was a way to bring back things, he would. To see his parents again. Aunt Cas would always mention how proud they’d be if they saw the brothers now. He’s in college and had just finished his long project of building a nurse bot that could help so many people and his braniac of a brother is finally going out and making friends. His thoughts drifted off to the first time he got into building machinery.

They were kids eating at dinner. Tadashi had grimaced at the vegetable but still forced himself to eat and swallow just so he can get dessert. Hiro ate continuously though. He was like a grinding machine just eating everything and putting anything that smells okay in his mouth. His father stood up and went to get dessert as his mother went to the other room. By the time their mom came back, Hiro’s face was already smothered in ice cream and their dad chasing after him trying to wipe his face clean. She came close to the table carrying a big box. Tadashi was about to get off his chair to maybe try and help but his mother reassured that there was no need to. She placed the box on the table and Tadashi stood on his chair to see what it was. It was a whole box full of scrap metal and spare parts and on top of all that junk was a toolbox accompanied by a belt, gloves and other safety necessities.

His eyes lit up before looking expectantly at his mother. She smiled and gave a laugh. “I know you’ve been wanting to just get your hands busy on making and repairing machines so instead of having you and Hiro breaking everything you get curious about, we decided to give you your own things to use.” Her mom explained. Tadashi was grinning and he was so ecstatic he just jumped off his own chair cheering and thanking their mom before running off to their dad and Hiro to tell.

After that was just spent in his room playing around with his new things. His parents would stop by from time to time and teach him and Hiro on what to do. His first build was a small catapult shooter that automatically resets to loading position where you can put your ammo and it’ll automatically launch. He would sometimes use it  for snowball fights and when he was lazy, he’d test it by trying to shoot his crumpled papers to the trash bin. He still had it in his closet. He never really threw any of his creations away... so he let Hiro play with it until it was broken so he can reuse it.

Tadashi chuckled to himself as he drew closer to your house. He was kind of sad that Hiro doesn’t remember much of their parents. Hiro was already a braniac when he a small kid since they both learned together. He’d ask Tadashi every once in a while when they both feel down or stressed about what it was like before the accident. Then he’d tell the most embarrassing of stories just to get a reaction out of Hiro even though they weren’t real some times. He missed his parents so much.

So seeing a box of what looked like scrap metal and other things in front of your house made him halt. He walked nearer to take a closer look, the darkness making it hard to see what it was but the shape of the junk seemed familiar but he couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Then it finally clicked and his his face changed from confusion to worry.

“...Boddy?” He softly said the bot’s name. Then he felt concern seeing notes, piles of paper and massive amounts of trash and notebooks which seems to be projects and books ranging from research to fiction and amazing designs to photo albums. But one struck out most. A framed picture.

Two pictures fit on one frame to be exact. Its glass cracked; going from one corner to the other. One of an old photo of a couple holding a baby. The other with you as a kid smiling brightly with the Callaghans. It was such a big contrast to who he saw the first time he woke up in your house. Tadashi finally tore his eyes away and looked up to a window and there you were. Through the window, beyond the first room and into the kitchen, Tadashi saw you. The circles under your eyes bigger than before, hair all over the face, and with trembling hands you pulled at them, bending down to the island. And in that moment, the whole world seemed to slow down as you fell over.

And when he finally noticed it, his blood ran cold. An empty knocked over pill bottle.

===

Tadashi ran straight to the door, banging loudly and calling out your name. He started panicking, giving a growl as he tried to open the front door. Locked.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. What to do? What to do?!_

His thoughts ran wild before looking around to find a way in.  He needed to think of a way in. And fast. He could go through the things in your box and maybe find something he can pick the lock with... or he can smash the window and risk getting accused of breaking in.

 _Well, it’s better than a dead friend_.

He stood back a bit and brought back his elbow before smashing it to the glass on the door. Once making it crack. Pulling back his elbow to hit it once more, he thought about the week you spent together locked away in a room. He thought about the stories you told him. He thought about Boddy and the endless creations you could make. He thought about your discussions about the world. He thought of the feeling he got seeing you open up.

Tadashi thought of the hope for a person who was locked away in the misery of their own life. And how it could end in a few moments.  

The glass finally broke and Tadashi hissed when he felt a small sting in his hand as he reached in and unlocked the doorknob and locks. Pulling back and being careful to not cut himself again, he opened the door and rushed into the kitchen. His head was pounding by the time he got in there and found you laying down on your side behind the island. He hesitated getting closer. He just wanted to take you away from here. To take you out of this madness that the world has managed to feed to you.

 Tadashi took a deep breath. _Rule number one of first aid: Do not panic._

He slowly approached and knelt down still a bit away from you. Tadashi was about to call out your name when he saw a glint of metal shine and before he knew it, you already had your arm up pointing a blade at him with a scared expression and pushing yourself further back away from him. He took another deep breath, slowly going closer when the blade lowered slightly in hesitation. Hands up in surrender, Tadashi slowly grasped your wrist, looking straight into your eyes.

“Hey. Shh.” Tadashi softly spoke, mimicking the way you whispered the night you made him go home. The small knife cluttered as it fell from your hands and your face changed from scared to tired.

 

And god, were you tired. Oh so tired. Your hand fell from his grasp and you let yourself fall to his shoulder. You just wanted to sleep. You just wanted to rest and be done with it all. See Mom again. See Abigail. See your parents. You just wanted everything to be okay.

“Hey, stay with me now.” Tadashi said pulling away to look at you in the eyes. He looked bad. Didn’t you send him home? How long has it been? Why did he come back? You don’t know. You couldn’t think. You just wanted sleep.

“C’mon. Don’t sleep yet,” he said softly. It almost sounded like pleading. Was he pleading? Why did he come back? “How long has it been?” he asked. It barely registered to you. How long has it been what? Since you let him go home? Since you’ve last slept? Since the world decided to be shit to you? _How long has it been_?

“I don’t know,” you responded silently. It was more like a grunt. You knew what he was asking about. The pills. That was what he was asking about. And you didn’t know. Why would you want to keep track of the coming of your death?

 

Tadashi slowly stood, supporting you up and turning you around to face the kitchen sink. He looked at you with sadness and fright. He knew you won’t want to stop this. He knew that even if he tried, he may never be able to stop you from taking your own life. How do you stop the suicidal from being suicidal?  Because even he knew that life was cruel. That no matter what, bad things will always happen. That happiness is temporary and that pain like _this_ lasts longer. So what’s the point?

Tadashi looked away. He opened and closed his lips like a fish out of water, not knowing what to say to you. He can’t convince you the world will be nicer. He can’t convince you people you lost will come back. He can’t convince you that people around you will be good and that things will always go as planned. But he’s sure willing to try.

“ _I’m sorry.”_

Your eyes widened before looking up to Tadashi.

_What?_

“I’m sorry that I can’t help you. I’m sorry that you’ve lost the people you love. I’m sorry that Boddy broke−“

 _What was he saying_?

“I’m sorry that the guy I thought was a great teacher is an ass to you. I’m sorry that your sister got into an accident. I’m sorry your mom couldn’t stay a little longer. I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet you sooner.”

_What is he doing?_

“I’m sorry the world treated you like shit and now you feel like one.” You heard his voice break.

“But please...

 _please_ don’t do this.”

It was so soft. It reminded you of Mom when they found you in the park at quarter past one in the darkness of early morning. You wanted to be angry. You wanted to just make everything go away. You wanted to run away and hide. Pretend the pain isn’t there. The snow fell slowly that night and all you wanted was bury yourself in the cold. How can the world be so cruel? How can life be _such a dick?_

You didn’t know what to think but Tadashi continued speaking, “Please, don’t end things like this. I can’t promise you the world will treat you better. I can’t promise the people you lost will come back. I can’t promise you anything that can stop you from taking your own life but I’m willing to try. I’ll let you come back home with me and I’ll introduce you to Hiro and Aunt Cas and Honey and GoGo, Wasabi, Fred− _everyone._ I’ll help you start over. I’ll help you experience the family you’ve always wanted. I’ll help you be happy.”

“Just _please...”_

You were sobbing. Bawling and crying your eyes out like a dam had just broke. How could a man you’ve only known for a few weeks time be so nice? How can a guy you’ve locked away for weeks still have so much sympathy? You found it hard to breath, your throat tight and your eyes blurry. You felt so overwhelmed. Of his words. Of your own emotions. Of your life. Of everything.

But you were willing to try.

“Take me to the bathroom,” you whispered once your tears subsided. You looked at him. He was crying too with tears falling off his own eyes while looking at you nodding. You would’ve laughed at the situation.

What a mess.

* * *

 

Tadashi was rubbing circles on your back. You were sweating, tired and running on no sleep and an empty stomach. You just finished getting everything out of your system. Which really wasn’t much since you  haven’t really eaten.

“You look like hell,” Tadashi smiled making light of the moment. You smiled back tiredly.

“Same to you,” he chuckled, shaking his head before helping you up off the bathroom floor and flushing the toilet.

“Oh trust me. Not as bad as you,” he looked at you with sad eyes. You would’ve felt bad about him pitying you but you just couldn’t care less anymore. You just wanted to sleep. Get some rest. Then maybe wake up and... and maybe try better. “C’mon, you should get some rest and I’ll go and cook something up for you.” You nodded and trudged forward to your room.

 

Tadashi laid you down in your own room and he heard you give a big sigh as you settled in your comforter and before he knew it, you were already asleep. He wondered when was the last time you slept. Or eaten for that matter. You still looked a bit pale but color was slowly coming which gave him some sense of relief. You looked so peaceful sleeping. As if you just hadn’t tried to take your own life. As if you weren’t living this kind of life. That you were just some tired and overworked college student.

Tadashi looked around your room, cluttered mess were all over the place but not as much. Probably because most of what seemed to be your stuff is outside. He made a mental note to take those back inside later and get to work with Boddy. He gave a sigh and finally feeling the exhaustion slowly set in.

 _Just a little more_. He thought, determined. As he began to clean up the kitchen, throwing away the empty pill bottle, putting away the blade and looking through what you had in your fridge (which was a lot surprisingly), he began thinking about all that was happening. He didn’t really know why he was helping you. Maybe Stockholm Syndrome? who knows but he... felt like he just had to. Like, if he didn’t and just went back home, his brain would just keep pestering him about it until he comes back. It was a gut feeling. And now with all that has happened, he’d probably be living in regret if he didn’t come back. Knowing you could’ve...

He didn't want to think about it.

Time passed by and Tadashi was bringing the last of the boxes in and was about to go to the kitchen to turn off the stove. He was kind of glad Aunt Cas decided to pester him and teach him how to cook and let him work around in the cafe from time to time as a young teen. He smiled at the memory of the first meal that he made. He was kind of surprised Aunt Cas even let him use the kitchen on his own and cook dinner for them. She usually just asks him and Hiro to help around with simple stuff like cutting up ingredients(which, of course, Hiro wasn’t allowed to do) or getting them from the fridge, setting up the table and all that. Simple things, not make the whole dinner! But it turned out okay. Certainly not his best cook but it was the first and he was pretty darn proud! It was a mess though.

He took off the lid and stirred the soup a bit before taking a taste. Smiling to himself and nodding, proud of his work, Tadashi washed his hands and wiped it by the hand towel on the side. He was about to go and get a bowl when he heard the front the slam open with force.

And the next thing Tadashi knew he was slammed to the wall and held there by very familiar looking robots.

“Microbots...?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m learning how to end things in cliffhangers so bear with me here. I’m really proud of this one because it was longer than my usual word count (this is 2.8k words) and this actually took me a bit to write, like, i had to whip out some songs (mostly undertale soundtrack) to get the mood in and do a quite a bit of research (i don't understand how writers do the whole 3k-8k like wow)
> 
> I was playing ‘his theme’ the whole time during the second part of this because I really didn’t want to force anything, especially since this is a really delicate subject. Suicidal thoughts and suicide isn’t easy to put away, as far as I’ve read and experienced and one thing about it really that I learned is that no one can really help you but yourself but there is always support around you if you need them ([feel free to talk to me!](http://heart-select.tumblr.com)). I really hope I wrote this chapter some justice because I just really didn’t want to force positivity but i also still wanted to show that maybe there is still some hope left. 
> 
> Also, I may or may not have slipped a Heathers(the musical) reference somewhere. ;D
> 
> EDIT: gosh i'm so sorry but update may come late this week since school has been really busy and I am loaded with project deadlines


	6. Breath In. Breath out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who decided to come home.

You turned your head, your eyes opening enough to see the clock at the bedside table. Forty-five minutes. That was how long you’ve been out. Forty-five goddamn minutes. You were tired, groggy, hungry and absolutely dead tired. Was it too much to ask for a peaceful rest? You wanted to go back to sleep and the bed was seriously tempting. But the slam — well, two slams — was concerning. Did Tadashi drop something? It didn’t sound like utensils or anything. It was like something thrown to a wall. A heavy thing thrown into a wall. There was also this ‘ _shhhhhh’_ noise you couldn’t really pin point but it was coming right outside your door.

Then there came muffled words. Maybe it was just you not registering anything properly in your sleep deprived state or just that the door and walls keeping the sounds on the low. You moaned in annoyance, not wanting to get up but still forced yourself to sit up and get your legs out of bed. You could probably just let it be but what if the house got burnt down or something? I mean, since your Dad did burn SFIT and managed to hurt Tadashi, you’d least expect the guy to get back. Although, that seems unlikely after all the things that just occurred. Well, maybe not unlikely. Fate is a dick liked being a dick to you.

Your head lulled and your eyes drooped. God, _you just wanted to fall back and sleep_. You were barely even awake when you started walking to your door and you were yawning when you twisted the knob and sluggishly opened the door. All you could think of was that comfy bed and a goodnight’s rest. The only thing that registered in your head as you opened door was what looked like a tall man looming over you wearing a... kabuki mask? And he seemed to have been reaching to open your bedroom door. You paused, staring at him before slamming the door shut.

 

What.

The.

_Fuck._

 

What in the world— Was there a break in? Who in the world was Kabuki man? And were those microbots? Where’s Tadashi? Why is your house flooded with microbots? Is Kabuki man some sort super villain? (He was clad in black) Was that soup you smelled? What in the world is happening?!?!?

All trace of sleep seemed to have seeped out of you and replaced with a panicked mind and a pounding heart. You stood frozen behind the door holding the now locked doorknob. Kabuki man was banging on your door.

Oh my lord, did Kabuki man hurt Tadashi?? Were you next????? And here you thought you things were gonna get better.

You swore under your breath, not really sure of what to do. You let go of the doorknob and you back away from the door. You heard what seemed like Microbots rushing to the door. Your breathing started to pick up as you looked around in your room for something to fight back the inevitable.

You quickly went to your bed and dropped to your knees and reaching under your bed for a bat. It was a classic weapon really, cliché and you never thought you’d actually find use of it. You stood up and held the bat firmly in front of you. Sad to say, PE was never really your forte  in school and these were microbots. Thousands upon thousands of microbots probably outside banging (more like scratching) on your door. It honestly wouldn’t do you much good to be honest but you’re sure as hell try.

Several thousands of tiny bots moving in a fluid motion controlled by something beyond that door. Microbots. Microbots. The term was familiar, where had you heard it.

Small bots started seeping through under the door and going up as if scaling the door. You immediately went and swung your bat at the bottom, scattering the bots to side (which urked you since they looked like wiggling worms) before swinging the bat to the door, the hit managing to drop the scaling bots and they retreated back under the door. You suddenly noticed the speed of your breathing and the pounding of your heart. Or was that in your head? Or maybe the door? You couldn’t tell. The rush from the abrupt attack was slowly fading and switched to a more panic state and tired. The great desire to rest didn’t help either.

The bat dropped from your hands and you backed away, trying your best to stop the incoming panic attack. You closed your eyes and focused on your breathing. You felt dizzy. You felt tired. It was like the pill thing all over. You tried to think but nothing and everything came all at once.

Breath in. Breath out.

Everything is okay.

“It’s okay.” A soft low voice spoke.

Breath in. Breath out.

You slowly opened your eyes, looking up. You didn’t notice Tadashi come in at all. Didn’t you lock the door? When did you fall to your knees?

Breath in. Breath out.

He was rubbing circles on your back. You leaned into him, still trying to calm yourself down. When did you start crying? You saw out of the corner of your eye the man in black knelt close to you, mask off. Dad. He was saying something. Something about you being okay. Was he worried? He’s probably worried. They’re probably worried.

Breath in. Breath out.

You closed your eyes.

Breath in. Breath out.

They both helped you up and set you down on your bed. Why are beds so comfy? The tiredness you felt earlier catching up to you. The two were talking but you weren’t really paying attention. Hiro. That’s where you heard the microbots from. Tadashi’s brother. It looked just like what he described. You would’ve been in awe of it if it wasn’t in attack mode.

Breath in. Breath out.

One of them asked if you wanted to eat or sleep first. You were too tired to know who it was. You shook your head and buried it further in your pillow. It was probably Tadashi who asked. Didn’t you smell something nice earlier? Food would be nice but you were tired. You wanted sleep.

Breath in.

Breath out.

And finally, sleep came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this was a bit late. School year is coming to an end and it's been really hectic with all the deadlines and examinations are next week but I'm trying my best to upload once a week! This one is a bit short and I did want to make it longer but I just really wanted to upload. 
> 
> This story is so dramatic tho XD i should probably stop the swearing as well  
> My friend also told me I write with a 'stream of consciousness' kind of narrative which I thought was cool but yeah.  
> Don't be afraid to tell me your thoughts and feedback on this!


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